


Making Plans

by OldDVS



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, no relationship yet, no sexy times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-06 00:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21217433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldDVS/pseuds/OldDVS
Summary: Snape's sitting around with some Death Eaters waiting for Voldemort to get done with whatever nasty thing he was doing, and they speculate about how to honor Voldemort when the Dark Lord wins.





	Making Plans

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure this was originally going to be longer, with each of the 9 giving their own ideas, I suspect I ran out of interest in imagining gross ways to honor Voldie. It more or less stands on it's own. Another fifteen year old file resurrected for general amusement.

“Voldemort has decreed that when he is Lord of all the Earth we will attend him in a manner which befits his glory–and ours,” Lucius reported. “He wants to be entertained at the next gathering with tales of how we will do so.”

There was a general sigh through the room, a combination of both anticipation and its opposite. There were nine men and women in the room. They awaited their lord’s pleasure–he was doing something or other to a Muggle in the back room. It would take awhile. It always did. Meanwhile, they waited. Their wait was not made more pleasant by the amenities. The room was sparsely furnished and cold, despite the fire in the grate.

Polyamania Hillhart conjured tea. They all took a cup, leaning back in their various chairs and couches to sip it and think. 

Nott spoke. “When our lord calls us into his presence I shall arrive in a coach made of bones. Perhaps I should collect the bones of those he has killed. A bit of grave robbing should be amusing. A driver all in black, with a very long black whip. The dashboard will be made of skulls. Wizard skulls. I think I shall give that of my mother-in-law pride of place, in the center.”

“You keep saying you’ll get rid of the old bat. You never do,” pointed out Arlis Keatherton. He was a Malfoy cousin and shared the blond good looks and supercilious expression of that family.

“Oooh!’ Hillhart ignored Keatherton and nodded her approval. “What will have drawing your carriage? Muggles?”

“Yes. The whip shall keep them bleeding enough to grease the wheels, don’t you think?”

“You won’t move smoothly,” criticized Severus Snape. “Even with magic you’ll either have to keep replacing them or let them fall from the traces and roll over them. And blood clots up.”  
And was untidy and smelled bad, but for their master, that was a plus.

“I think I’ll arrive on a magic carpet.” Polyamania said. “They won’t be illegal then. I’ve always wanted one.” She imagined it. "We'll have races and drop those who have displeased him from various heights. Bet on the results, perhaps.”

Goyle turned and said, “What about you, Snape? How are you going to entertain the Lord Over All?

“Weasleys.”

“What?” came a chorus from the others.

“Weasleys. I will train them, dress them exactly alike and present then to Him as a gift.”

“That hardly seems very ornate. He'll be disappointed in you, Snape, and you know what happens when he's displeased.”

“He won't be displeased. They'll be trained, as I told you. I'll do the training myself.”

“Oh, will you?”

“Can we watch?”

“Start with the twin sons, why don't you?”

Snape listened to them with only one ear. His cover story for next week, when he had to spend some time with various Weasleys, was set up now. Only a few more days and the Big Plan would be in place. Harry would take care of the Dark Lord and they could all go on with their lives.

What a gullible lot Voldemort's followers were. As if you could train Gryffindors. Better luck trying to herd cats. But the thought of them waiting on him hand and foot did have some appeal. Nothing wrong with a little fantasy now, was there? And if the image in his mind had black hair instead of red and sported green eyes and a scar, well. That one was an honorary Weasley after all.


End file.
